One plastic button to Muscat....

Come on guys its time to give it to the punters like english batsmen of old...straight! Aren’t some of the wonderful deals that a dangled in front of you just complete 4X.

Is it a case of 'white lies' maybe ‘because we can say it we will’ or 'we are so desperate ourselves our strap line should be Bodgit and Scarper wouldn't buy of us….'

...Buy our newspaper cos we know what’s what to help you get through your life, you have no friends but we will leave you with ink stains to remind you of the huge adverts you’ve paid for which are wedged in between last years Doonesbury, of course you have no source of any information and we went to school and we once read a poem and we know that you know that you can’t do it on your own AND oh by the way we may send you to Narnia for free if you subscribe for a million years.

One plastic button is all it would cost to fly to Muscat and by the way you’ve 48 hours to find the days that you can get this deal and oh by the way it will be on a work day AND OH YES OH the fuel tax, surcharge tax, tree tax, carbon offset and the CEO’s bonus needs to be paid tax so THE TOTAL FARE is 750 gold doubloons says Captain Jack! And yes we do think you have Muppet on your forehead.

Put all your debts into one easy consolidated loan, pay off what you can FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES HA! Only 39.9% APR, free life assurance and we don’t need your medical history because we know you won’t read the small print and will probably die of something that’s not on our list.

Take two bottles into the shower…pay more for one! Its really just soap or rendered fat. Does anyone carry the shampoo in and out of the shower?

Read our reviews for the best, most up to date, happening, and cool, with it, blah so blah trite! And from a recent review of the new Trek movie don’t go and see this because its number 11 in the series and all the odd number movies were rubbish, oh but so was 10 so my theory is flawed…doh! What shall I do they won’t let me write a proper article.

Or just great big black ones.

Is it not about time the great and the good that shove it down your throat’s that specialist interest groups, watchdog’s, quangos and uncle tom’s maiden aunt are really looking out for the ‘man’ in the street and live up to their golden halo’s or are they no better.

Phew.